Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Watched Over and Forever Humbled

I am such a failure at blogging! I'm don't have a husband, I don't have kids, I don't have some sort of life threatening disease, and sometimes I am pretty sure I don't have a life. And yet, people WITH those things blog more than I do. So, I am (half) determined to change that.

If this specific post sounds semi-depressing, it's because I'm listening to Someone Like You by Adele. So, it's her fault.

It was about a month and a half ago that I had a pretty incredible experience. Some of you might have already heard about it through Facebook or by my mom's horrifying mass text that made people think I was dead. If not, here is the complete story.

The Accident: This all began when my oldest sister Brooke was moving to Korea. I wanted to drive to Vegas to see her off. So, I went down for the weekend. Instead of leaving Sunday night like I usually do, I decided to leave Monday morning so I could spend one more night with her. BAD IDEA. We didn't go to bed until 1 a.m. That's what happens when you're in the Grant house. So, I woke up at 4 a.m. and started driving at 5 a.m. With barely 4 hours of sleep, I started driving to Provo. I had to make it there by 12:00 for school. I was exhausted the whole way and was totally dozing off (I decided not to tell my parents about that part) but I didn't stop because I was so paranoid about missing class. So right outside of Nephi (exit 223 to be exact) I fell asleep. My eyes were probably shut for 2-3 seconds, which is all it took. The vibration of the car going off the road is what woke me up. So I was jerked awake, grabbed the wheel, turned to the right, and started spinning out. I went up a hill (literally, UP) and then rolled three times. My cruise was set at 83 MPH. So the first recollection I have was waking up and spitting dirt out of my mouth. I started looking for my phone to call my Dad but I couldn't find it anywhere. So, I opened my door and walked out to try and find it. I didn't even realize at the time that i just straight up opened my door and walked out... Crazy. So I'm looking around for my phone and can't find it. Then I decided I needed to wave down some cars. THREE cars passed me. This one guy finally saw what happened and slammed on his breaks. Long story short (too late), I used his phone to call my Dad. I told him what happened and then when I looked back at my car, I started crying. Then, 4 feet away in the dirt I found my phone. So, the guys called the cops and the ambulance and they all got there pretty fast. The adrenaline was pumping pretty fast and I was in shock so I didn't realize that I had been holding my head the whole time, until the EMTs asked if my head hurt. I also got a really bad seat belt burn on my chest. So, they put me in a neck brace, on the stretcher, and took me to the hospital. They actually had to convince me to go because, apparently, I said "No I'm fine! I just have a little head ache." Yikes. So they gave me a CT scan to check for any internal bleeding and I was good. So at this point, after the scan and everything, one of my sisters friends from SLC came to be with me at the hospital. Also, coincidently, my friend and her mom were on their way to Arizona. My mom called them, so they came to the hospital. So, 3 hours later, they finally released me. I literally walked about 5 steps and almost fell over. My friend had to catch me right before I hit the floor. The whole left side of my head, from about the temple to the right above the back of my neck, was extremely swollen. And I had a concussion. My family, of course, had already jumped in the car when they heard what happened and so I met them in Beaver with my friend.
The Aftermath: For the next two weeks I couldn't lift myself out of bed. Every time I would sit up, the room would spin for 30-45 seconds. It was just really bad. I was also really sore for about a week, then when that wore off, I realized the real pain in my back and spine. It still hurts to this day. I wake up every morning, and all throughout the day, with horrible head aches. My back, shoulders, and spine feel like... I can't even explain it.
Many close friends and family came to see me after the accident. That made me feel like the most special girl in the world. Everyone kept telling me that I had "unfinished business here" or "some important work to do yet". That was probably the biggest eye opener for me. Before the accident, I had been struggling with finding my purpose. I felt unaccomplished. Unimportant. And just plain bored. I told my mom that while I was laying in the ambulance, the only thing I could think of was how badly I wanted to see and hug everyone I have EVER known. Seriously, everyone. As soon as I felt that desire, I realized how grateful I was that I still had the opportunity to do that. Then I started crying. I don't think I have ever felt closer to God than I was during that ordeal. Having an experience where you almost lose everything, truly makes you put things in perspective. It makes you realize what is truly important. Friends. Family. Love. It's not about what you're doing in your life or what you haven't done yet. It's about making sure that people know how much you love them, and staying close to people who love you. When everything else disappears, that's all you have.
The Blessing: It's a miracle I'm alive. Every single door and window was broken out, ripped apart, and dented except mine. I was SO watched over. Everything I did, in that 5 or 6 seconds it took me to crash, saved my life. It wasn't me though. JESUS TOOK THE WHEEL! But seriously, he did. As soon as I knew I was crashing, I had this feeling like "Keep your hands on the wheel. Hold on." If I would have let go, my arms would've been broken and cut to pieces: miracle. My airbags didn't deploy, which would've caused broken ribs, bad bruising, and cuts: miracle. I swerved to the right, instead of the left, into oncoming traffic: miracle. If I would have fallen asleep a fourth of a mile before I did, I would have gone into a ravine: miracle.
To everyone who came to my rescue, thank you. I would not take back this experience for anything.
Being able to see my family again, embracing them, and seeing the smiles on their faces, was the greatest gift I could have ever received.